Observer photo by Jackeline Stewart
American Observer senior Amy Leibowitz often uses her cell phone to make long-distance phone calls to her parents in New Jersey.

10 tips for successful telephone talks with mom and dad

by ERIN DONAGHUE

Admit it, you’ve done it once or twice — “Mom” or “Dad” shows up on your caller ID, and you quickly set your cell phone to silent. Seconds later, your phone blurts out a sad yet hopeful beep, letting you know your parents have left another inquisitive voicemail asking questions such as: “How’s it going in (insert city here)? Any news on that job interview? Any boys/girls in the picture? Are we still speaking?”

Sometimes talking to your parents long distance can be more of a chore than anything else. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Your parents, like it or not, are probably very nice people who are quite concerned about your health and well-being. Follow the five tips below, and you may actually resist the urge to throw your cell phone out the window the next time your parents give you a buzz.

1) Realize that your parents are people too.
Does this sound too obvious? While you might like to think your parents’ lives are not nearly as exciting as yours, the fact is that they occasionally have very complex and interesting things going on. Maybe your dad’s seemingly banal interest in hiking is leading him to consider taking a trip to the Appalachian mountains in the summer. Or perhaps your mother’s trip to New York with her girlfriends last weekend wound up to be a crazier time than she bargained for. The bottom line is, you’ll never know if you don’t ask, and if you do, you may find that you have more in common with your parents than you think.

2) Ask your parents for relationship advice.
I know, your mom is the last person you want to go to when you’re having boyfriend or girlfriend problems. A common misconception is that moms will always take your side and tell you that the jerk doesn’t deserve you anyway. But your mother undoubtedly has several more years’ experience than you do. If nothing else, you can learn from her mistakes. Who better to give you an honest perspective on your love life than your mom?

3) Let your parents moan about their jobs.
You just might find that your parents have been dealing with the same office crap that you’ve been whining about at the water cooler all week. And just maybe, they’ve learned from their experience and found a more professional way of dealing with it. Even if your dad works in the insurance industry and you’re, say, a magazine writer, you may find that people deal with each other professionally in similar ways, no matter what industry they’re working in. Your parents can be great mentors if you learn to take some of what they say seriously.

4) Keep an eye out for things your parents might find interesting.
If you come across a Web site you think your parents might like, make a mental note of it. Maybe you saw a show the other weekend and you think they might want to check out the DVD. Why not tell them about it? Introducing new items into the conversation can keep it from becoming too banal and focusing on the things that you talk about over and over — sports teams, politics, apartment repairs, etc.

5) When all else fails, talk about food.
Okay, you’ve followed the last four steps and it’s only been 15 minutes. Nothing terribly exciting is happening in their lives, nor in yours. The job’s fine, nothing to report on the relationship front, and the cat is back safely from the vet after minor dental surgery. They might be excited to know that you successfully attempted a vegetable lasagna last night, chamel sauce and all. Though it sounds trivial, it’s a hint to your parents that you are indeed successfully growing up and becoming a “real” person. And this can occasionally be a hard concept for them to grasp. Talking about your cooking endeavors is a great way to ease them into dealing with you as an adult. And you might just pick up some recipe tips along the way.