Cartoon by Mike Baldwin, Cartoon Stock

When cupid strikes at the cubical, companies mean business

by JACQUELINE McCLURE

Long before Jonathan Luden, 24, became a general manager at Brookstone, he broke a major company rule.

In 2001, he started working part-time at the company while attending a local community college, to help pay his bills. Working long hours and late nights, Luden became friends with many of his co-workers and started hanging out with them after hours. He and his co-workers weren’t stealing electronics and selling them on the side for extra money. The corporate rule he broke wouldn’t put him behind bars, but would simply force a worker to transfer to another location.

Dating his boss, which is against corporate policy at Brookstone, wasn’t his only problem. The distraction of the relationship led to a lack of productivity on the job and a surge in drama at the workplace.

“The bad part about office dating was we always used to fight and argue. So at work, it would be hard to work together,” Luden said.

Although the couple tried to keep their relationship a secret, their co-workers eventually found out. Other employees became resentful, and charges of favoritism forced his boss, who was four years older than him, to be relocated. They broke up shortly after she was transferred out, Luden said.

The office cubicle is no place to hide from Cupid’s arrow. Co-worker romances might be considered taboo, but they are remarkably common. A recent survey by Lawyers.com and Glamour Magazine found that 41 percent of Americans ages 25 to 40 have engaged in an office relationship. Three out of four respondents said they believe romance among peers is acceptable.

At some point during your working life, you may have dated someone you met at work. If you haven’t, chances are you know someone who has. A 2006 survey by career website Vault.com revealed 58 percent of Americans have dated a co-worker.

In the happily-ever-after scenario, some couples work together and manage to keep it amicable. However, other relationships can create complications for both the employer and office.

Companies are beginning to realize the possible risk for employer liability associated with inter-office dating and are looking for an answer that will be acceptable to all parties. Instead of creating anti-fraternization policies, some companies are turning to love contracts or consensual relationship agreements, which are legal documents that address office romances head-on, and provide a viable solution for everyone in the office. This not only protects the people in the relationship, but also serves to protect the company from sexual harassment lawsuits.

Or more simply put, first comes love, and then comes the contracts. Jeffrey Tanenbaum, an employment lawyer in the San Francisco office of Dixon Peabody LLP who has drafted these documents, said companies get better results when they include employees in office decisions.

“You could simply tell people what to do in the workplace or write it into your policy. This is taking it to the next step by involving employees instead of telling people how to behave,” Tanenbaum said.

In a 2003 study, the American Management Association surveyed 391 of its executive managers and corporate customers about office policies and personal attitudes toward office dating. It found that only 12 percent of companies in the survey have written policies on dating co-workers, leaving room for ambiguity.

A variety of organizations, including small and large companies, members of both the public and private sectors, and religious institutions have contacted Tanenbaum for guidance. While he’s written hundreds of these documents, Tanenbaum said he tries to customize each one according to the situation.

“It’s one tool that can be used to protect employees from discrimination and companies from liability,” Tanenbaum said.

While inter-office dating might be more strenuous than most relationships, there are reasons why it can be beneficial to date a co-worker. However, if they want their relationships to be taken seriously, a couple must maintain a professional appearance at work. Companies aren’t paying people to fall in love, and employees must conduct themselves seriously around the office in order to eliminate the perception that they are more focused on each other than their jobs.

However, if an inter-office relationship does end in marriage, it’s just an added bonus. Julie Catrone, 42, met her husband Victor at Gruppo Finanziario Tessile, an Italian menswear company. Catrone said that there was no direct conflict because while she was a production manager, he worked as a sales representative in a different department. However, similar to many office couples, they decided to keep their relationship a secret and low key.

“You just don’t mix both work and play. It might get uncomfortable if you break up,” she said. According to the management association survey, 44 percent of office romances lead to marriage.

On the other hand, it’s easier to say just don’t do it.

Nancy Lorer, 44, whose ex-husband was her superior at Abraham and Strauss, said when you’re with co-workers more than your friends and family, it’s inevitable.

“Spending that much time with people in one place, it’s logical when romance happens. If you spend 10 hours at the gym, you’re going to meet them there,” Lorer said.

Lorer said that while there was no corporate policy against inter-office dating, it was known that co-workers didn’t date their bosses.

Even though there was no public display of affection, Lorer said that her co-workers started to pick up on the relationship and company gossip filled the air. After three months of dating her boss, she was transferred and even promoted to another position.

After the relationship ended, Lorer learned that mixing the two worlds just isn’t worth it in the long run. “I’m a firm believer in keeping your personal life separate from your business,” Lorer said. “I find as I get older, it’s just healthier to keep the two worlds separate.”

Anti-fraternization policies similar to the one at Abraham and Strauss are still in place at many companies today. These policies are arranged to prevent co-workers from associating outside of their professional duties, but can be problematic due to human nature, said Tanenbaum.

“They are virtually impossible to enforce,” Tanenbaum said. “It tends to drive those relationships underground because it happens secretively.”